Build a healthier relationship with money
Break away from old patterns and create healthy financial habits that help support your goals.
Article published: August 26, 2026
Find your financial harmony together
Different money habits don鈥檛 have to create conflict. We can help align your goals so you can move forward as a team.
A healthier relationship with money starts with identifying the patterns behind financial stress: spender-vs-saver conflict, a scarcity mindset or limiting beliefs formed in childhood. Talking openly with your partner and a financial advisor about these patterns, rather than just the numbers, is what can actually help resolve recurring money arguments and get you on a solid financial footing.
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Money is about more than numbers. It reflects our experiences, values, priorities and even our emotions. When two people come together, so might two different relationships with money, and those differences can influence everything from daily spending decisions to long-term financial goals.
It's not uncommon for couples to approach money differently. One person may be a saver while the other is more comfortable spending. One may enjoy tracking every dollar while the other prefers a hands-off approach. These differences aren't necessarily problems, but they can create tension when they go unspoken or unmanaged.
The good news is that forming healthier financial habits and stronger communication can help couples build a more productive relationship with both money and each other. Taking time to understand your own financial behaviors, while also discussing how money affects your partnership, can create greater trust, alignment and confidence in the decisions you make together.
Use this as an opportunity to talk with your financial advisor about your financial habits, shared goals and any conflicting money dynamics in your relationship. Here are some potential areas to explore.
Spender vs. Saver
It's rare for two people to agree on everything. And money is a deeply sensitive topic, so naturally, finances can be ripe for disagreement in a marriage or partnership. Perhaps nowhere are those disagreements more frequent than between a couple where one person is a spender and one is a saver.
You might be part of this dynamic if you often argue over things like:
- When it鈥檚 appropriate to upgrade or replace items
- How much time and energy to spend shopping for the best price
- How to respond to financial challenges like high inflation or an income loss
- How much transparency each of you owes the other when it comes to spending
- How much to support family members or charities
- How much to spend on holiday gifts, travel, experiences, decorations and food
These recurring arguments are often less about the dollar amount and more about 鈥money scripts鈥 鈥 the unspoken beliefs about money each partner picked up long before the relationship started.
52%
of Americans have fought with their partners about money, according to those surveyed in our 2024听Everyday Wealth in America research report.
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So, what's the solution? Talking about it can help, sometimes quite a lot. In fact, 83% of people surveyed say that it helps them resolve disagreements, and 38% say they want to talk about money more.
But your talks need to go beyond we-can't-afford-this vs. yes-we-can. Most importantly, you'll each need to put your judgments aside and understand where the other is coming from in your overall approach to money.
Once you've made progress there, you can take actions like agreeing to a spending budget (especially helpful for larger planned expenses or the holidays), deciding how much you can each spend at will, and aligning on what it will take to reach your financial goals.
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Tip #1
Talk to your spouse or partner more intentionally about your financial decisions, especially those that have been a source of conflict. And get together with a financial advisor if you need a neutral perspective or help understanding the potential consequences of a decision.
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Do you have a scarcity mindset about money?
A scarcity mindset can drive anxious or overly restrictive money habits, even for people with financial resources. If this sounds like you, times of heavy financial burden are probably especially stressful for you. But a scarcity mindset can negatively affect your feelings at any time, and you owe it to yourself to get to the bottom of it.
If you started out with fewer resources, you probably learned to be prudent with your spending. Sometimes these emotions can morph into a scarcity mindset: the belief that your wealth is limited and must be protected.
People with a scarcity mindset might:听
- Avoid taking any financial risk for fear of loss听
- Refuse to spend money on non-necessities, or always choose the 鈥渂udget鈥 option by default听
- Prioritize their net worth over personal relationships听
- Believe they鈥檒l never have enough money for their needs听
- Obsess over the market鈥檚 ups and downs听
Stephen Covey, who developed the idea of a scarcity mindset in his classic bestseller The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, argued that this mentality keeps people from achieving their goals because it promotes short-term thinking, a zero-sum worldview and tunnel vision focused on risks instead of opportunities.听
And behavioral scientists Eldar Shafir and Sendhil Mullainathan, along with colleagues Anandi Mani and Jiaying Zhao, found that concerns about financial scarcity can consume mental bandwidth, reducing cognitive performance and leaving fewer mental resources available for other decisions.
If you have a scarcity mindset, you might want to:
- Have a financial 鈥渄evil鈥檚 advocate鈥 to help you focus equally on risks and opportunities
- Intentionally practice gratitude for what you鈥檝e been able to accomplish
- Budget a certain amount that you must spend on things that bring you happiness
Tip #2
Ask your financial advisor for a reality check on whether you鈥檙e taking the right amount of care with your money 鈥 or way too much. They can also be a sounding board to help you reshape your mindset.
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Do you have limiting beliefs about money?
Limiting beliefs about money often trace back to childhood or a past financial shock and can be reframed with help from a partner or advisor.
Everyone has their own thoughts and beliefs about money and its role in their life. These beliefs aren't necessarily right or wrong; but it鈥檚 important to recognize they're based on feelings, not facts. And some of them can cause you to make decisions that don't help you reach your full potential 鈥 or may cause you to miss out on some of the joy of living.
Some examples of limiting beliefs might be:听
- Saving is always better than spending听
- The future is uncertain so it鈥檚 better to spend what you have听
- I don鈥檛 deserve my wealth听
- Stocks are too risky听
- People should always financially stand on their own two feet听
All-or-nothing thoughts like these commonly go back to your childhood or to a traumatic financial event, like a job loss. But if you鈥檙e making decisions based on these 鈥渞ules鈥 without actually considering whether they鈥檙e true, you could be holding yourself back.听
What to do? Financial therapist Amanda Clayman suggests people who have been negatively affected by money messages in childhood need to 鈥渞econtextualize鈥 those learned responses in adulthood to help conquer financial stress and anxiety. The money conversations every couple needs to have can be a good place to start.
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Tip #3
Talk to someone you trust about how your family handled money and what lessons you took from it. A spouse or partner can listen and offer insight, but a financial advisor can also play that role and help you differentiate facts from feelings.
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Your wealth should be a blessing, not a curse
The hard work you've put into building wealth can enable you to live the life you want, enjoy helping others and reach a level of safety and security you may not have thought attainable.
But if your money often leaves you feeling upset, stressed or anxious, don鈥檛 go it alone. A financial advisor can give you insight into your thought patterns, help you communicate better with your loved ones and show you the potential impact of your decisions. Financial advisors can often help couples talk through money conflict and build a better plan together.
This material was prepared for educational purposes only. Although the information has been gathered from sources believed to be reliable, we do not guarantee its accuracy or completeness.
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